What are you afraid of?

Recording my first YouTube video!

Since starting MFJ, the number one comment I hear is “I wish I had the courage to share my journey of infertility publicly!” I guess sometimes people see where you currently are and have no idea what it took to get you there!

In 2017 when I set up my outdated Samsung cellphone on a cheap tripod I found online, I had no idea what I was doing. The tripod was so bad, my phone kept falling off as I attempted to record my first video! Also, since the tripod was so small, I had to put it onto stacked boxes to get my camera phone at the right height to record a video. I had downloaded a free editing software on my phone and did my best to edit the video. I still remember how nervous I was. I must have recorded the video 43 times just to try to figure out exactly what to say. I had watched a few hundred YouTube tutorials about starting a new channel, I wanted to get everything just right. Let’s just be honest, the audio, lighting, and video quality were pretty bad, and, if for some reason you want to go and check it out, be my guest! I wanted to have an aesthetically pleasing background, so I taped (bad idea!) a shimmery curtain to the wall behind me. The curtain kept falling down and I finally had to nail it to the wall.

My terrible tripod

The moral of the story is, I was scared, but I did it anyway. The video may not have been the best, BUT, I had to start somewhere. I worked so hard (and still do) to make my channel better! I treat YouTube like a full time job! As of right now, there are 7 BILLION videos on YouTube. I knew it would be merely impossible for me to get subscribers and views if I just uploaded the video and left it there for others to find in a search bar! I literally spent hours a day going onto YouTube and social media with the intention of bringing people to my channel to watch my content and support me!


Fear is the thief of dreams.

Brian Krans

Although my channel is still pretty small, I can remember when I had 11 subscribers, and most of them were my friends and family members! Seeing my growth makes me so grateful for where I am right now! I was always so afraid to promote myself (and I still struggle with this!) but the moment I stopped allowing fear to rule me, I saw a noticeable difference in so many areas of my life! I worried so much about other’s opinions – What will people think of me? Will people post mean comments? I finally had to overcome my fears and just do it!

When I uploaded the video, I left it in “unlisted mode” because I was so anxious just thinking of putting my first video out there for the world to see! I literally had knots in my stomach! Guess what? Anxiety is pretty much trying to think of a solution to a problem you have made up in your head. Honestly, 99% of the time the problem you made up in your head does not even become a real problem. In almost 2 1/2 years of sharing my story with the world, I have gotten nothing but positive and encouraging messages! As I look back now I wonder, “Why was I so afraid?”

I am learning that most of the time when there is something you are scared to do, that means you should do it (within reason, of course!) Fear is an emotion that comes up to keep us from living the life we were meant to live. The enemy wants us to be complacent so that we do not reach our full potential! Just imagine if I had let fear stop me from publishing that first video! I would not have a YouTube channel filled with resources for those battling infertility. I would not be in the position I am in now where I have the privilege of sharing my story and giving hope to thousands of other women! Most importantly, I would not have met so many amazing women who supported me during some of the most difficult times of my infertility journey!

So, what are you afraid of? Have you been afraid to start a YouTube channel? Blog? Have you wanted to write a book? Of maybe you are scared to do IVF or start your adoption process! It’s okay to be scared, but do it anyway! You never know what is on the other side of that fear! I am sure you have heard the quote that says something about if your dreams don’t scare you then dream bigger (or something like that, I am pretty terrible at remembering this sort of stuff!) There are probably thousands, or even millions of people out there who need to hear your story! My story isn’t any more special or unique than anyone else’s. The world needs to hear from you!

P.S. I did not record that first YouTube video when the idea initially came to mind, I procrastinated for months because of my fear. When the idea kept coming up, I knew it was confirmation that it was something I was supposed to be doing! So what are you waiting for? Do you need a pep talk from a random woman on the internet? Well…here you are! Hey (insert your name here), you’ve got this! I know you are capable of doing some pretty amazing stuff and you probably have an awesome story to tell, so, just do it!

Whatever “it” is, let me know when you’ve done it so I can check it out and tell you how terrific it is!

“I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear.”

Nelson Mandela

xx Candace

10 thoughts on “What are you afraid of?”

  1. Kim Bailey says:

    I felt this same fear when I did my first video! It took many attempts to get it the way I wanted it to be, and it still wasn’t perfect. Hopefully, it will get easier next time. I have not made a second one yet! 🙂

    1. cfarris says:

      I was TERRIFIED with my first few videos! The more you record, the easier it gets!

  2. Kristin says:

    Congratulations for starting! I procrastinate everyday. I have a blog but hardly ever write anything. Always afraid of what someone might think or say. It’s sad!

    1. cfarris says:

      Thanks! I know that feeling, but one day I just said to myself, “who cares what others have to say!” If I can help at least one person, then it is all worth it!

  3. Karen says:

    I was absolutely afraid to start my blog. I mean why would anyone care what I had to share. When people started leaving comments on my posts I was thrilled. Maybe I can help others with what I have to say. You never know until you try. Thank you and good for you!!

    1. cfarris says:

      We all have something worth sharing that others need to hear! You never know until you try. Best of luck!

  4. Cassie says:

    I LOVE this!! I’m completely with you! Everything about this journey has been SO frightening but it’s such a huge feeling of accomplishment when you face your fears! Awesome post! LOVE the pep talk at the end!

    1. cfarris says:

      Thank you! It is a HUGE feeling of accomplishment when you just do it 🙂

  5. Virginia Ng says:

    Amazing! Congrats on your channel and blog and being brave enough to face your fear and put yourself out there! I’m afraid of starting my own business, afraid that I’m not going to be able to keep up and provide the best service. However I have taken a huge step by starting a blog, and I still sometimes worry about whether or not this is the right direction for me, and I’m not always confident in my material and I’m afraid I’ll only get criticism that questions why I am posting.

    1. cfarris says:

      Thank you so much! I completely understand, but sometimes we have to just face our fear and go for it! I think it is better to try and not succeed, than to not try at all. Best of luck!

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